Let us begin _

"Kevin Weber is a slut."

Let us begin again_

"Kevin Weber was born on a gray, dismal day in January in the equally gray, dismal city of Topeka, Kansas. Shortly after, Mr. Weber's family fled to Mechanicsburg, Pennsylvania, where he enjoyed a pleasant and fruitful larval stage roaming the banks of the mighty Susquehanna River. Some years later, the Weber family resettled in Carthage, a splendid little town on the front porch of the Missouri Ozarks. It was in Carthage that Mr. Weber cultivated his love for music, specifically that which is created when one object strikes another. Mr. Weber attended the University of Missouri at Columbia, where he studied mechanical engineering by day, and the Bacchanal Arts by night. Mr. Weber continued to develop his talent as a percussionist, and it is believed that at one point in the mid-1990s he was the regular drummer for fully two-thirds of the musical acts in Columbia.

"Upon graduation, Mr. Weber relocated to the San Francisco area, where he obtained employment with one of California's most highly regarded death merchants before leaving for the masters program in engineeringat the University of California at Berkeley. Mr. Weber's research involved the development of powerful, microscopic robots that, in future, will doubtlessly develop their own consciousness, disregard the wishes of their creators, enslave the human race, and precipitate the downfall of civilization as we know it.

"While in the Bay Area, Mr. Weber has performed regularly with a wide variety of musical artists, most notably those one guys who did that one song about that thing. You know the one. Today, Mr. Weber continues to percuss professionally, while also pursuing a successful career capturing and manipulating tiny waves that travel through the air and make noise, a task made all the more difficult by the fact that they are invisible. He resides in the East Bay area with two cats, a Bullmastiff, a parakeet, his common-law wife, Shirley, and six daughters, all born out of wedlock to six different undercover Oakland
police officers posing as prostitutes."

BIO NUMBER 2

Some would describe Kevin as the perfect man, a renaissance man. I would describe him as a chimera because he is of mythical status and proportions. He is a perfect meld of student, businessman, entrepreneur, charmer, social butterfly, engineer, dork, and teacher. After knowing Kevin for many years, I am still surprised at his breadth of knowledge and skill; there is nothing he can't do. He is an engineer by education, a scientist by trade, a musician by passion and an all-around nerd by birth. Like a superhero, he can unload and assemble a drum kit faster than a speeding bullet, he can talk shop with a room full of software engineers, win an intense Rock Band or Guitar Hero competition, tutor a gaggle of teenagers in chemistry or Calculus, all while reading a Dostoevsky novel and drinking a beer.

BIO NUMBER 4

While Kevin Weber's name is often found in sentences that include the words: "What the hell?!", "Miller Highlife", and "naked," his main claim to fame is that he hails from the same small village in the sticks of Missour-uh as the infamous ceramic Precious Moments dolls.

And it was after failing to marry his Junior Prom date in the Precious Moments chapel beneath religious portraits of the cherubic figurines -like everyone else was doing, that Kevin decided he was better off heading Westward to pursue a career in Rock, with an emphasis on drums. Which he did. Metal, hard, experimental, prog, jazz, blues, singer-songwriter, country, indie, alternative, all of it.

Following several years of successful Rockstarring, Kevin has temporarily settled down to start and run his own independent recording studio-come-label in the San Francisco East Bay called Spliggityfidge , which – in case you were wondering - is actually a curse word in his home village. At the moment, between moonlighting as an elementary school science teacher and private tutor whose services are sought by suburban moms everywhere, Kevin manages to drum and engineer for about 18 projects at any given time, 3 of which (Pollux, Blue Rabbit, and Love Zero) are currently self-releasing debut albums. It should also be noted that his Masters in Micro-Electro-Mechanical Systems allows him to take his recording engineering to new heights of nerddom.